Reclaiming a sense of control: A Guide for Mums
The women in my classes often tell me that the arrival of a new baby is amazing, but can feel overwhelming, sometimes leaving them to grapple with a loss of control over their time, routines and life path. And I share with them that regaining a sense of control is not only possible but crucial for your well-being.
Here are some strategies that I speak to Mums, especially new Mums, about. These are suggestions that may help them regain a sense of control in their lives after having a baby.
Establishing a Rhythm to the day
Whilst babies can be unpredictable, creating a daily rhythm can help regain some predictability and nurture mental wellbeing. Things to include are your basic needs such as a shower, time to eat a nutritious meal, and your favourite self care routine.
Delegate and Seek Support
Don’t hesitate to ask for help from your partner, family, or friends. Share the responsibilities of caring for the baby, household chores, and errands. Support from loved ones is invaluable, and allows you to control more of your time.
Taking care of your physical and mental well-being is essential. Create and schedule time for self-care, whether it’s a warm bath, a short walk, or meditation. A well rested and relaxed Mum is better equipped to handle challenges.
Learning to manage your time helps so much. Utilise tools like calendars and to-do lists to stay organised. Book in outings, time with friends, and quiet time when you feel ready. Break tasks into manageable chunks, and tackle them one at a time. Ensure that rest is high on the list!
My advice for new mums is this: You’ve never been a mum before, and your baby is new to this world. So be kind to yourself, and be patient. It takes time, but you’ll get the hang of it!
Set Realistic Expectations
Accept that your life has changed, and it’s okay not to know where to start. Set realistic expectations for yourself and your baby. You don’t have to do it all, and it’s okay to ask for help when needed. For more information on realistic expectations, see this article from the Centre of Perinatal Excellence
Maintain Hobbies and Interests
Don’t forget to nurture your interests and passions. Whether it’s reading, painting, or exercising, finding time for activities that bring you joy can help you maintain a sense of self.
Connect with Other Mums
Joining a support group or connecting with other new mums can be incredibly reassuring. You’ll find that you’re not alone in your experiences and can exchange valuable tips and advice.
Communicate with Your Partner
Open and honest communication with your partner is crucial. Discuss your needs, emotions, and expectations. Together, you can find a balance that works for your family.
Embrace the changes that motherhood brings. Whilst you will regain control, it’s equally important to adapt to the new normal. Your baby will grow, and your routines will evolve.
Remember, regaining control doesn’t mean getting back to your old life entirely. It means finding a new equilibrium that suits your new role as a mother. Your journey may have its ups and downs, but with patience, support, and self-compassion, you can regain a sense of control and thrive. Cherish the moments with your baby, have fun, and be kind to yourself!